We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
