You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
