hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
