There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
