It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
