he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Still dying that you shit outside
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
