operation harelip BJ is a go
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
