love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
