it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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