she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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