I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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