youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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