I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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