Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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