haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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