she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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