I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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