Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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