I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
