make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize