Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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