I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize