So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
