i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Your cock deserves a montage
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize