when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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