if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just googled if crying burns calories
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
