hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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