we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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