we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
