they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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