i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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