dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize