from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
