This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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