hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
