I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
