Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
