He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
