I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
