Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
