I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
