saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
