HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
