dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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