You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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