4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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