booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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