Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
