Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
