have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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