I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
