bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize