omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
