im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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