idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
