You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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