it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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