scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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