seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
