You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize