tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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