I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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