found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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