No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I still have a little drunk in my system
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
